Ethan Sims
Copyrider


Disney+
Ranch Rider
Mr. Submarine
Carl’s Jr. Free Burger Day
MOEN
Doordash
Fruit Smash
Springwell
Nickelodeon
Carl’s Jr. Scary Ads
Bijan Mustardson: Apology Coupon
Doritos (Crash the Super Bowl)


Me
Fun Stuff
Dem shiny tingz

World’s Shittiest MacGuyver

A collection of things I invented or otherwise put together on the spot.


The Fork Clipper



Same idea as the MTA comb but this time I didn't have the inexperienced 2nd party to cut my hair. I did however have an electric shaver and a disposable fork that I foolishly thought looked similar enough to clipper guards.

You'll need
  • An electric shaver
  • A disposible fork
  • Tape
  • No regard for your physical appearence

Steps
  1. Snap the handle off the disposable fork
  2. Tape it to the electric shaver
  3. Observe as your hair is irreparably ruined 


Suspended Beer Bong



Have you ever had to hold your own beer bong up while you chug it? Now you may be asking yourself why I'm chugging beer by myself. Well, why are you reading about beer bongs on some college kid's portfolio website? Only gawd can judge.

You'll need
  • A beer bong
  • Scissors
  • A surgical mask


Steps
  1. Cut a small incision into a study surgical mask, approximately the size of the the tube on you beer bong.
  2. Fit the surgical mask through the tubing of your beer bong where its cradling the base of the funnel
  3. Tie the strings of the surgical mask to any hinges or notches up high. (Example shown: kitchen light fixture)


Tampon Piping Bag



Ok, this one may be getting a little weird, but I'm no baker. So why would I bother investing in a piping bag just to put some icing on a tin of brownies? Just stick a tampon applicator through a Ziploc bag and call it a day. It's called resourcefulness, I don't make the rules, I just play the game.

You'll need
  • A Ziploc bag
  • A (hopefully unused) tampon applicator


Steps
  1. Deconstruct a tampon applicator, you’ll only need the tube for this.
  2. Cut a small hole in the corner of a Ziploc bag, make sure the hole is approximately half the diameter of the tampon applicator
  3. Push the tampon applicator through the Ziploc bag from the inside outwards, creating a seal as the tube stretches the Ziploc hole.


The MTA Comb



When COVID strikes and you need a haircut but you don't have a comb, there's only one answer. You need to cut an MTA card into a makeshift comb.

You'll need
  • An MTA card
  • Scissors
  • An inexperienced person to cut your hair


Steps
  1. Start by cutting an MTA card about half an inch deep several times across the length of the card
  2. Bend every second tab upwards
  3. Cut all the tabs you bent upwards


The Ramen Fork


In the absence of adequate silverware,  a few common household items can be thrown together in a pinch (not that a fork isn't a household item) but whatever #DormLife

You'll need
  • A Dasani water bottle
  • 1 pencil
  • Some scotch tape
  • Scissors or an Xacto


Steps
  1. Take your Dasani water bottle and cut out the shape of the fork prongs, leaving some material at the base for attaching
  2. Tape the base of the fork to the back of your pencil


Eraser Juul Charger



Juul chargers are independent creatures, they don't like to be tied down and they're never where you left em. But not to worry the world’s Shittiest Macguyver is here to save the day with an old iPhone charger and an eraser.

You'll need
  • An old iPhone charger
  • Scissors
  • An eraser
  • Masking tape
  • A toothpick


Steps
  1. Cut the lightning port side of an Iphone charger and strip the rubber insulation off
  2. Inside the should be 4 colored wires, twist the black and black wire together and then the green and red wire together to make two prongs of wire
  3. Hollow out about a quarter inch of eraser matching the shape of a Juul bottom
  4. Using a toothpick poke 2 holes up through the opposite side of the eraser and feed one wire prong through each hole.
  5. Voila, you're done. Once everything is set and your Juul is charging, apply a little tape to make sure it's not going anywhere.
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